i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
