But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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