she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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