i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
