Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
