Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
