Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
