is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
