he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize