I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
