my soul wont recognize me after tonight
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
