your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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