You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
