I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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