I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
