similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
