i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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