He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
