I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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