She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
