i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
