I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i will never coherently bang her
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
