I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
