glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
