I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
