There is no way he is gay with that hair.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
