just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize