so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I am mentally ready for anal.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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