Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
