Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
