i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
