i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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