haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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