She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
