none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
