I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
