they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
