my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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