Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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