Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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