Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So much rum. So many feels.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
