she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Randomize