There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just forgot I was standing up.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
