Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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