Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My balls are so social today.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
