She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
