We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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