just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
