totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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