no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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