i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
operation have a gay friend backfired
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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