"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
