I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
