I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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