yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
