I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my poor anus
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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