Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
