At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
