I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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