one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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